THE SUPER (well, not too bad really) NOTES
*ODA PC Committee approved expression.
By Order.
Commissar Ken A’fka.**
** Who also denies the holocaust.
Ken says: ‘I DIDN’T DO IT’
(And if Ken says he didn’t do it, HE DIDN’T DO IT !)
* * *
ref YE SITE PROPER,
AN ILLUSTRATION OF,
IT’S RAISON D’ETRE
(A Project for World Domination – but for Blackpool)
+
MOST IMPORTANTLY,
A CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE HIGH PRICE OF CHIPS.
So:
Our Dogs Arse : NOT FOR PLEBS
If No News Is Good News,
How Is It They Keep Manufacturing It ?
Joined-Up Government = Joined-Up Responsibility
ODA : Illustrating The Continuity of Crap
ODA : Distinguishing between The Stick and The Beater
ODA : Espousing wot you’re thinking
/
We think you should be thinking !
So, ODA, A Rant Sheet of Taste : Good/Bad ?
Now, that is a Q !
Just give it a sniff and enjoy our organ !
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Dedication:
To ‘The days before the world went lax and sour’
Big Jim & The Figaro Club.
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2013 : WEEK 39 : Day 271
Saturday 28-September-2013
The Daily Enlightenment (!)
Nowt really.
Of previous and no doubt future too, again,
‘The News’ of ye UK Newspapers is that funny,
we didn’t know whether to enter to The Daily Asspect piece below or here
(it’s below)
Will bring you up to date on the site proper . . …… sometime !
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ODA HOME–OFFICE DESK
CONNING IT
The interim between the stream of Theatres of Nonsense current has ended.
The next dose (flavour blue) IS A-BREWING PROPER IN MANC
(Bradshaws Ice Cream was now joined by Hope Valley Ices.
Both have now legged-it to a safe distance)
So, to the ‘The News’ as alluded to above:
Today’s Headlines:
Those Up DaveCo’s Bum:
NATIONAL:
Daily Telegraph
[? (£1.00/copy last time I bought one)]
None delivered today to Abduls when we went for the rags,
but no doubt the DT were leading the pack and the furthest up the high fundament.
Guardian (surprisingly)
[£0.90p/copy(I think)]:
‘PM’s £400KK For Cancer Drugs’
Daily Mail
(Price: Can’t remember really, think it’s about £0.30/copy but can’t be bottomed really):
‘£1K Tax Break For Married Couples’
Daily Express
[~£0.40/copy]:
‘House Prices Up Everywhere’
(tra-lah)
Daily iDependant
(£0.30p/copy):
‘PM’s £400 For Cancer Drugs’
LOCAL
Stockport Express
[£0.50 I think – never buy the bloody thing me sen]
‘Extra £7KK As Number Of Pupils Set To Soar’
* *
Fuck You Dave; We’re Backing Milliwatt:
NATIONAL
Daily Mirror
[£0.35/copy (I think)
‘PM’s Aide Under Rape Allegations’
(ref Alleged incident of 40 years ago)
Daily Sun :
[£0.30/copy (I think)
ditto
(After all it saves on ‘journalistic’ input and The Star’s got tits)
LOCAL
None found
* *
Appear Not To Give A Shit About The DaveCo Show:
NATIONAL
None found
LOCAL
Manchester Evening News:
[Price: Who cares they give it away as a freebie anyway]
‘Pub Gunman Shoots Drinkers’
(Stay in the hotel Dave where your safe)
* *
Sitting On The Fence:
NATIONAL
FT Weekend
[£3.00/copy but we think worth it]:
‘May Seeks To Lure Chinky Tourists’
Daily Star
[x35 pfennigs but with extra tits]:
Bloody DiGate etcs yet again (again-etc)
LOCAL
None found
* *
Can’t Classify – Into obfuscation and hedging bets just in case Milliwatt gets in:
The Thunderer
[Something outrageous/copy]
‘Osborne To Put A Break On Green Taxes’
* *** *
So to ye analysis inevitable from The High Editors high stool:
. . . all of which brings us to the Q’s
How much does Dave pay for his papers ?
AND
How much do The Papers pay for their Dave’s ?
Oh well, that’s the price of the newspapers today.
And, just when will the Great Dave arrive here to save us all here in poor Mancshire ?
AND
. . . who cares ?
* *
ODA H&S NOTICE IMMEDIATE
STAY OUT OF CENTRAL MANC FOR THE NEXT WEEK.
IT’S GOING TO BE ABSOLUTE SHITE FOR NORMAL PEOPLE.
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ODA FOREIGN DESK
THOSE IN ISOLATION LOCAL
Nowt really.
~ ~ ~
THOSE A LITTLE FURTHER AWAY
ref The current unpleasantness in Iraq:
~As/ last, but continuing to improve:
1: All remains quiet-ish and it doth appear that all uncomfortable proceedings current are being brought to a close, but that, as/ last, still appears not to be soon.
2: Ava Banana continues getting his gobbing-ops on everything that spouts.
(Come on Big P, you could get in a bit here as well lad !)
(Auntie Angela has let it be known she doesn’t want disturbing during der Oktober Fest)
3: Mr A. S. Sad continues saying he’s sorry (a bit).
BIG TA BIG JIMMY again.
As/ last : Let us hope it continues.
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ODA H&S NOTICE
From last week:
In the interests of public sanity
we broke our practice usual of attempt at humour
🙂
and then
slipped regretfully into tragedy
🙁
We here, regretfully repeat again:
UK : PLACES to AVOID
POLTICo MAIN CONFERENCES PUBLIC (!) 2013:
LibDem: (Autumn Conference : 2 of 2 of year)
GLASGOW
Saturday 14 September to Wednesday 18th September 2013.
Labour:
BRIGHTON
Sunday 22 September to Wednesday 25 September 2013. (Oh wot joy HAS gone)
Con’s – Party in Progress (buffet open termorrer):
MANC
Sunday 29th September to Wednesday 2nd October 2013. (Oh wot odours of joy have come)
For Survivors:
Decontamination units have been placed at all major traffic junctions
@ ~10 miles distance around the centres of this annual competition for
THE UK POLITICo PROFESSIONAL BULLSHITTER OF THE YEAR COMPETITION
for
JUST WHO CAN SELL THE BUGGERS THE BIGGEST ONE THIS YEAR ?
The Tony Blair Memorial Cup will be presented to the winner
in The Members Tea Room, after prayers, first Monday in Advent.
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THE SUB, glug glug, NOTES
PRE : As/ last:
ref YE POSTS:
Continuing the opening of our Posts to Subscribers Service, we’re still stumbling a bit
(SNAFU)
and we continue to pray indulgence from our readers for the future short
until we have sorted formatting to as best as can be done for the system raft we float on.
Again, it looks as though there will only be x1 / day as ye esteamed system won’t allow more.
We have, Mon-Sat, put to this sending
The Daily Enlightenment + The Daily Asspect of the day.
Future Intentions:
To do a regular daily ‘double-do’ with AM+PM publications with an updated Asspect at PM
(See above: mmm, Mmm, MMM . . …… Best laid plans etc !)
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THE STANDING NOTES
ref STYLE of WRITE
As/ The Site Proper
NB Much but not all done to a continuous stream of script without punctuation proper or additional space break etc ie as/a continuous rant would sound after all it is a Rant Site
!
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ref YE SITE PROPER
THE WOM PAGE
1: As/ last:
Changes of layout to The Wom Page on the site proper are still continuing and might confuse a little at the mo’, as this past week/so of Daily Posts must have also done !
Again, please bear with us and it’ll be brought to logical soon
(If we are spared !)
2: ref THE DAILY + WEEKLY COPY USUAL:
Due to illness (ahhh we hear from the masses)
we’ve largely suspended the regulars full and proper:
The Daily Asspect + The Daily Enlightenment + The Weekly Look-Back
Do hope to be back up to full speed shortly
In the meantime we’ve précised/metamorphosed wot would have been full copy to the above into Organi’s view of the world:
The Fourth Eye of The Wom Page:
A summary posting of
DAILY ASSPECT + ENLIGHTENMENT + WEEKLY LOOK BACK PAGES
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ref THE TEXTUALS – THE DAILY ENLIGHTENMENT STYLE
ref The Piece(s) Above + Previous + To Come (if we are spared)
ref The E-Steamed Wisdom Contained Therein:
For New Recipients – Yes, we do know:
1:
They are for the most part, gutter humour.
ie 1: They are quite, quite, quite vulgar for the most part.
ie 2: They’re mostly crude, lewd and rude (some very much so)
+
Throw-in bland, infantile, inane, and gratuitously outrageous for good luck where they apply
(often !)
and you’ve got a fairly accurate picture of just wot is contained usual.
🙂
An Aside:
–> Ah, The Gutter : It’s where we live <–
No Apologies : There’s no place like home etc.
🙂
Ergo: Should you live on the kerb or above, some might well cause offence.
🙁
The easy way for the delicate to deal with it if you don’t want to
take heed of the sentiments of the nice polite version on The Site Proper Wom (Home) Page:
GO AWAY NOW.
aka Piss-Off You Princess.
🙁
🙂
2:
You might well have seen or heard said some of the pieces below somewhere else before,
indeed some of them are so old they’re probably pensionable,
but please don’t show-off by telling us where and when they seen.
To date gentlefolk other of
The Parish of St ODA
might well not have had the benefit of the profound illumination & enlightenment contained therein and shed by them.
We don’t claim copy-write on them – Share & Enjoy.
3:
With ref to the genre general:
The only things we’re trying to do for the better than the rest of the rabble,
is to publish in a form matching the idiom of the piece particular,
in as intelligible a form as can be writ by us with attempt to render print layout to wot is thought best practice for clarity of read on the many devices various ‘out there’.
Where possible for retention of that idiom intrinsic to the piece,
that form is put to something akin to The Queen’s English.
Oh, and we’re trying not to repeat the same one after publication as well.
* * *
So, Dear Reader,
The TEXTUALS in summation,
is a torrent of banal filth, innuendo, outrageous lies, smears and distortion,
general character assassination to bods various
all tastefully counterpointed with ‘politically incorrect’ anarchistic truths and insights
into the greater world
+
The ODD flash of divine inspiration and enlightenment absolute*
combined with good taste proper
(again, very few and little !)
🙂
Further: See our
General Statements of Stance
on
The Site Proper
Wom* Page
also.
(*’Home’ – Fer’t foreigners from past Stalybridge)
+ + +
A Sponsor Writes:
Reet Good.
Couldn’t do better mi sen.
Double coconuts all round.
Godd J.
Villa Omni
Heaven
H101 WC666
(No junk mail or callers without appointment please)
+ + +
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Clear Views
+
Regards,
Yours through das mist (ja wohl)
Old :
🙂
PS.
Yet Another Apology
This – Very late ‘sketch’ publication:
Old : continues krank.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh+h etc
🙁
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