ODA : Illustrating The Continuity of Crap
ODA : Distinguishing between The Stick and The Beater
If No News Is Good News,
How Is It They Keep Manufacturing It ?
Socail Work – A / THE Anthology
A / THE Short Analysis of UK Social and Political Structure for Century 21:
Part I : THE ACTORS
1: The Field Worker:
The social working apparatchik typical of lower management mediocrity
(Sooosy with 3 o’s and a y) proclaims that the above (whatever it might be)
‘Is not/is helpful and is not/is
in pursuant of the national policy of
supportive, empowering, outreaching, with aims & objectives, in-house, out-sourced, strategic, thinking out of the box, sticking to the guidelines, ensuring diversity and preserving homogeneity
+ (of course)
addressing the issues,
in the non-threatening challenging environment of non-gender environmental perspective with supportive outlook etc etc etc of the current correct political correctness’
as she retreats from the scene declaring so she must call a meeting at Dept HQ – Radclyffe Hall, and then cursorily attempting to brush-off the accumulated pet hairs from her regulation black non-descript pretend Burberry business coat (got cheap in The Primark Sale) she notices it’s nearly afternoon coffee break time 🙂
At 16.00 hrs precisely she plods her weary way home in her new Toyota Arses ( i )
after spending another exhausting day of her 32 1/2 hour,
(31 minutes less and they’d count me as a part timer she smiles), flexi-time working week
spent in she was hired for – Singing the full repertoire of PC Tony Tunes to whoever is not ‘on team’ by emitting a stream of foggy gobbledygook no one but the cognoscenti understand in order to shield & support her employer: ‘The CEO’ of The Grand Soviet of *Mancton in his ivory tower on the 5th floor, so he can carry on his designated function of being ‘Captain of Ship’ wearing a new pin stripe suite at ‘functions’, yellow fluorescent jacket & white hard hat at site openings, and talking upmarket bollocks at up-market meetings to upmarket funding ears in order that the up-market beer voucher stream on which his ship floats might continue, (until his retirement or until he can jump ship to another, larger one),
whilst grumbling and deriding her choice of new carriage as her ‘mileage’ allowance had now been dropped to £2.95 a **kilometre.
(If you feel lost now – Keep-up, dear reader, keep-up – that was your test read !)
(*Twinned with Beirut, and, from the sides of the vans, ‘Solutions’, wherever that is)
(**Unit of measure so chosen to be in compliance with:
European Union Directive 2009 : 123456789/69 : Pt 919C : Sub Sec 84B : Para 62 : Line 28
which her intern Tabitha so cleverly found on ‘The Net’ after a full 13 1/3 seconds of research)
A ‘bad move’ overall she thought, as although her new Arses gave the right PC ‘green image’ it did well over her previous allowance band threshold of 50mpg, and therefore the expense claim allowance dropped by 20p / a klik.
Oh well se la vie she thought as she weaved homeward
with only the comfort of looking forward to the next tranche of her derisory 11 weeks annual leave
allowed to her by that bitch in Hardly Required to keep her going . . …
Oh no & woe further – she suddenly remembers next weeks ‘assignment’
dreading the prospect of yet another safari to be endured
for the sake of giving a Xton std little shit (aka ‘Her Client’) the opportunity to:
challenge his issues, get touch with his inner self and express his hidden child – etc etc etc
(Let’s hope this one brings some decent draw for a change she ponders).
Oh well in reflection it could be worse – This time it’s to Kenya and that’s a little closer to civilization, and it’s the dry season.
Last time the fucking Bushmen were late with the Guardian and it pissed down all the time 🙁 Couldn’t keep up with the jobs market
+ Didn’t see a bloody lion, rhino or wilderbeast – Nowt but rain; might as well been Manchester. Would have seen more at Chester Zoo (Pity Belle Vue shut she thought)
(Note to Self :
Had near thing with the old aids thing from a passing bonobo – must be more careful next time)
Should have thrown a sicky and stayed at home 🙁
Hind-sight’s a wonderful thing I just wish I had it first she muses.
It’s only the knowledge that she’s down on short list for the next fact finding visit to The Seychelles
that keeps Sooosy going as she grimly remembers the Social Corps motto:
Per ardua par coffee
As she approaches her home-pod,
(a detached 5 bedroom (all en-suite but for the maids) ‘mews cottage’ in a safe triple gated / ‘open community’ development with 24/7 security patrol and concierge),
her ‘significant-other’ Max runs out to greet her
‘Bad news Sooosy, that vibrator we chose together from the latest Silvia Platt catalogue
isn’t available. Apparently it was their office fire extinguisher which strayed into the publicity shot by accident’ cries Max (who does something in The Media and knows about these things),
her ethnic kaftan blowing open in the breeze alluringly revealing three of her size 28 spare tyres.
It’s going to leave us high and dry as we’ve worked our way through all the others whimpers Max
Low and dry but se la vie, se la vie, thinks Sooosy quietly
Oh Well Max – Let’s not worry about little setbacks:
Split another Jeroboam of Krug and the first one to finish their half gets the bottle up their ‘choice of venue’ tonight
They retire in expectant giggles 🙂 🙂 stepping on Marzipan the cat, as usual, in their unseemly haste to ‘get on course’ to make ‘meaningful connection’ . . . ……
<TBC> Presently . . …
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
THE SUB-NOTES STANDING, STD & USUAL:
VERGESSEN SIE NICHT:
IF NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS,
HOW COME THE BASTARDS KEEP MANUFACTURING IT ?
Oportet Operam Dore
However, me thinks, it just depends what you’re working at. 😐 Old : Ed.
And, don’t forget, ODA, supports, the Oxford,.
! HELP ! – THEY’VE GOT OUR DNA !
! STOP PRESS !
An Inverse But Still Tasteful Marketing Promotion:
THE MERCHANDISE SHOP IS SHUT:
CLOSED FOR RE-FURB’ UNTIL
AUTUMN 2013 (Rev 1)
SEE THE NEARLY HEAD OF PAGE NOTICES
TO NEARLY THE HEAD OF THE WOM PAGE !
! BUY ODA T-SHIRTS WHEN WE RE-OPEN
(YOU BASTARDS) !
Or the girl gets it !
(I wish – PLEASE don’t tell Mrs Ed)
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SOON SOMETIME :
POST TAB RESPONSE FACILITY TO ALL ON ODA SITE
ie Your chance to comment
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> THIS PAGE : Description : The good (few), the bad (many), and the unknowing (most) <
> THIS PAGE : Make-Up : Pieces various
> THIS PAGE : Last Update Proper Loaded : Last to head of page list <
> THIS PAGE : Latest Draft to Above : AM Monday 01-JULY-2013. <
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All times noted to writings to >Railway Time=London Greenwich< * PROPER.
None of that funny foreign ‘Eastern Seaboard Time’ etc
(Which they use in Lowestoft)
or even any of that UDT.
(Lark wot owr milkman ‘as)
* GMT. + When in season, easy-read BST.
(Which surprisingly contains no added E-Numbers, hydrogenated oils or salt
and is thought to be non-fattening and harmless to animals)
May Might Does not contain nuts.
(Noted for the sake of any passing plebs who
may might be considering it
for referral to their social worker as grounds for their next claim)